I know this is supposed to be an Ayahuasca blog, but I decided to give a trip report on what they call Terrence Mckenna's Heroic Dose. It's basically 5 grams of magic mushrooms in total silent darkness. I will write about some of the differences between this journey and my Ayahuasca trips.
Around 7 PM, I prepared my room by turning off all electronics and blocking anything that might be emanating light. By the time I was done, it was 7:55 PM and began munching on 5 grams of mushrooms. Chewed them thoroughly and proceeded to meditate on my bed.
About 30 minutes in, I began to see lightly colored visuals in string forms and silhouettes. Nothing intense or high definition like Ayahuasca. However, as it progressed and peaked, I started seeing various close eyed visuals I generally see when I'm on Ayahuasca. It was the other side. A side I've gotten familiar with. This seems to be some midway realm between our physical one and the spiritual. One key note that was different with mushrooms was that it lacked the divine light or energy I typically see or feel on Ayahuasca. I did notice there was no nausea that I usually get with a regular 3.5 gram dose walking around in nature. Oh, and thank god no purge!
As the intensity progressed, I got out of meditation and laid in my bed. Phasing in and out of open eyed and closed eyed visuals, it was difficult to really make out what was in the dark. But I started to see open eyed shadowy figures zooming and flying about the room, getting pretty close to me, especially around my neck. Sometimes I can make out a face, other times I couldn't. Was a bit freaky, but I continued to look on with curiosity and figured it's just my mind playing tricks on me in the dark.
We are all ONE right? Everything is consciousness right? Just mind stuff. Nothing to be scared of right?
So I got into a bow, the posture of surrender. To open myself up for whatever may come. In that position, with my eyes closed, I tapped into the mid way realm again and saw various geometric bubbles and patterns, and what sort of looked like some presence was in there, but it wasn't clear. Having enough of that I sat upright in my bed.
Then appeared in the darkness, near the edge of my bed to my left, this very low light, a luminescent glow. It seemed to be in some sort of ethereal box. Then another appeared. Then I realized, these lantern like lights were being held up by these tall, shadowy-grayish, looming, masculine, ethereal, semi-faceless beings with long arms. Staring at them for a bit, they didn't seem to move much but definitely were present. It did not feel like a figment of my imagination or hallucination. They appeared to be very real. They then held the light up to me and continued to stare at me, and I back at them. Then a third one appeared, now three of them each holding up this light. Each of them, different heights. Shortly after, more came into my room, now they were feminine, and some were children. The females and kids did not have the lantern like ethereal light that the masculine ones were holding. The children moved faster and swirled about. All of them seemed to be hungry or wanting something, I don't know what, perhaps energy? It was like when you come across a bunch of homeless, pan handlers, and beggars asking for change. They definitely showed a lot of curiosity in me.
I was telling myself, there's nothing to be afraid of. Everything is of the mind. So I tried to be welcoming and compassionate. Like the Buddha said, be compassionate towards all sentient beings. When I started to be more welcoming, it started to get a little overwhelming, very claustrophobic. They were swarming me wanting something, but I had enough. They were getting too close and it got very uncomfortable so I stood up, puffed up my chest and told them "No". Tried to clear the air and went to reach for the light as I started to feel fear. I just didn't want to mess with energies I did not understand. As I reached for the light, they started grasping me not wanting me to turn on the lights. I couldn't feel them, but I could see it. It definitely got a little creepy. Pretty fucken intense.
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| they were longer, taller, less muscular, less defined |
As the lights went on, everything in my apartment had no lines. Every object looked like some fuzzy blob. Things got better as my eyes adjusted to the light. With the lights on, everything looked pretty and HD, kind of like when I'm on Ayahuasca but not to that level of detail.
This was not the first time I chickened out seeing entities. Here's an excerpt from my Ayahuasca Journey 8.
"So I proceeded to close my eyes and had my first encounter with some strange cosmic entities or spirits. There were three of them, gender-less. They were long swirly thick oval looking non-slimy very smooth wormy beings. They looked at me with curiosity and I stared right back. Then they made a sudden shift and started approaching me, way too close to my comfort. As if they were going to posses me, so I opened my eyes, shook myself out of that vision and said no thanks. Did not feel comfortable surrendering to that."Anyway, I spent the remainder of my trip sitting on my bed contemplating what I had just experienced. On the come down though, the oneness feeling started to arise. At the end of all my psychedelic trips, it seems to always want to teach me that everything is one, no separation. A light luminous glow or aura pervades the room. It's as if my being can feel the edges of consciousness. As if, all manifestation and existence resides within my very being. That is oneness and what all psychedelics ultimately try to teach.
Hope you enjoyed this report! This is my 6th mushroom trip, first time trying 5 grams.
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