Been three weeks since my last trip, so I've been itching to experience grace, cosmic consciousness, and the Self. Once again, I decided to embark on another Ayahuasca journey, my 10th one.
First Dose
Got to the ceremony and was handed my dose. I took it right away and went back to my usual spot and laid there, waiting for its onset. About 30 minutes in, the visuals came but were fairly weak. Not solid or dense visuals, but more linear. Not the usual waxy, paint like melting substance I often see. This time, lot more lines and colors with something guiding me to go down a stream of two sets of multiple vibrating parallel lines. Not feeling much, I opened my eyes to see if there were any open eye differences. Looking around, nothing all too special or out of the norm, just extreme clarity. Now being almost 45 minutes in and not tripping hard yet, I decided to follow-up with a 2nd dose.
Second Dose
Not too long after taking my second dose, my inner world visuals began coming more alive. Again with the first dose, Mother Aya lead me down the center of a bunch of wiggling vibrating opposing parallel lines of different colors. So I followed. To the left and right of these lines I saw various hellish and morbid type images, but they weren't very prominent. They were more in the background so I didn't place much emphasis on them. As I continued swirling through the center of these parallel lines, I could feel acceleration and energy building up in my body. When I finally got to the destination, this energy rushed throughout my body emanating from the core of my being. I exploded out of my position laying down, got up, and was super expansive and flexed, puffed up like a balloon. Mother Aya had take over. As I continued to well up and the energy built up in my core continued to surge, it suddenly burst forth erupting all over. An orgasm of the body and mind, an orgasm of my being. A brain-body-gasm! My whole being shuddered and expanded with energy. Vibrations came pouring out of my mouth and I let out a deep bellied shout. I felt like a human bomb filled with life force. When it was all done, I couldn't stop chuckling in joy. It was exhilarating. I felt sooo alive.
After that experience, I tucked myself back into my spot. Feeling super cozy and giddy as I stared into empty space. Out of no where, these spirits started appearing. I looked first with curiosity and cleared my eyes to look again, just to make sure I saw what I was seeing. There they were, half a dozen of them. Female spirits with astral bodies floating all over the room. They were happy, playful, and filled with joy. Smiling, gleeful, flirtatious, and fun. They were like playful dolphins, only that they were levitating and swirling above. Then it was apparent to me, either I was hallucinating very hard or they were astral beings without a physical body. Entities from a non physical plane of existence. They were very ethereal, but I was able to make out their pretty giggling faces. They were a lot like wisps, only light, white, and yellowish with lengthy trailing astral bodies. It was very magical, wonderful, and pleasant to watch. Ayahuasca truly does show you some amazing stuff. I've had so many out of this world encounters and visions with Ayahuasca, I wish I had the artistic talent to draw out what I see. Unfortunately I can't draw if my life depended on it. Hence I'm writing.
Not too long after my encounter with the wisps, a 2nd round of energy began to build up in my body and mind again. Once again it exploded sending my legs and arms outstretched while i bellowed vibrations out of my mouth from my gut causing my whole being to shiver with bliss. Immediately after, I felt one with everything that was around. That there was was no separation, wholeness, complete. I found it once again, the Self. Shining every so subtlety, incredible easy to miss. It's as if Ayahuasca allows you to fine tune into this luminous Self, an invisible energy field, and it's there, perceivable when you tap in. Glowing within you and without. Grace, God, Guru is always with you. Sitting there feeling one with everything, a deep and profound peace permeated the entire room. I basked in that essence, that presence, this silence, the ego-less state. It was pure bliss. It was ecstatic. This is everything Ramana Maharshi speaks of. He truly was a saint, a Buddha of our time.
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| Ramana Maharashi - the Self |
I picked up a mirror I had brought and looked at my face. Looking into it, I felt a sense of separation from the body. Once again, Ayahuasca teaching me that I'm not the body, but the eternal being, pure awareness. Seeing myself in the mirror, it felt like another person. A person aging with wrinkles, getting old. A body prone to disease, death, and decay. It was clear to me, to truly wake up and discover our true nature, is the ultimate and highest goal that every being should pursue. To escape the cycle of Samsara. To break the illusion of Maya. To transcend the physical realm and be in touch with our true selves once again. To abide as the ONE eternal spirit. If not this lifetime, then the next.
P.S. I had one hell of a deep purge. Glad that parts over.
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