Ayahuasca Journey 10: Playful Female Spirits "Wisps"

🕒 6 MINUTE READ

Been three weeks since my last trip, so I've been itching to experience grace, cosmic consciousness, and the Self. Once again, I decided to embark on another Ayahuasca journey, my 10th one.

First Dose
Got to the ceremony and was handed my dose. I took it right away and went back to my usual spot and laid there, waiting for its onset. About 30 minutes in, the visuals came but were fairly weak. Not solid or dense visuals, but more linear. Not the usual waxy, paint like melting substance I often see. This time, lot more lines and colors with something guiding me to go down a stream of two sets of multiple vibrating parallel lines. Not feeling much, I opened my eyes to see if there were any open eye differences. Looking around, nothing all too special or out of the norm, just extreme clarity. Now being almost 45 minutes in and not tripping hard yet, I decided to follow-up with a 2nd dose.

Second Dose
Not too long after taking my second dose, my inner world visuals began coming more alive. Again with the first dose, Mother Aya lead me down the center of a bunch of wiggling vibrating opposing parallel lines of different colors. So I followed. To the left and right of these lines I saw various hellish and morbid type images, but they weren't very prominent. They were more in the background so I didn't place much emphasis on them. As I continued swirling through the center of these parallel lines, I could feel acceleration and energy building up in my body. When I finally got to the destination, this energy rushed throughout my body emanating from the core of my being. I exploded out of my position laying down, got up, and was super expansive and flexed, puffed up like a balloon. Mother Aya had take over. As I continued to well up and the energy built up in my core continued to surge, it suddenly burst forth erupting all over. An orgasm of the body and mind, an orgasm of my being. A brain-body-gasm! My whole being shuddered and expanded with energy. Vibrations came pouring out of my mouth and I let out a deep bellied shout. I felt like a human bomb filled with life force. When it was all done, I couldn't stop chuckling in joy. It was exhilarating. I felt sooo alive.

 

After that experience, I tucked myself back into my spot. Feeling super cozy and giddy as I stared into empty space. Out of no where, these spirits started appearing. I looked first with curiosity and cleared my eyes to look again, just to make sure I saw what I was seeing. There they were, half a dozen of them. Female spirits with astral bodies floating all over the room. They were happy, playful, and filled with joy. Smiling, gleeful, flirtatious, and fun. They were like playful dolphins, only that they were levitating and swirling above. Then it was apparent to me, either I was hallucinating very hard or they were astral beings without a physical body. Entities from a non physical plane of existence. They were very ethereal, but I was able to make out their pretty giggling faces. They were a lot like wisps, only light, white, and yellowish with lengthy trailing astral bodies. It was very magical, wonderful, and pleasant to watch. Ayahuasca truly does show you some amazing stuff. I've had so many out of this world encounters and visions with Ayahuasca, I wish I had the artistic talent to draw out what I see. Unfortunately I can't draw if my life depended on it. Hence I'm writing.

Not too long after my encounter with the wisps, a 2nd round of energy began to build up in my body and mind again. Once again it exploded sending my legs and arms outstretched while i bellowed vibrations out of my mouth from my gut causing my whole being to shiver with bliss. Immediately after, I felt one with everything that was around. That there was was no separation, wholeness, complete. I found it once again, the Self. Shining every so subtlety, incredible easy to miss. It's as if Ayahuasca allows you to fine tune into this luminous Self, an invisible energy field, and it's there, perceivable when you tap in. Glowing within you and without. Grace, God, Guru is always with you. Sitting there feeling one with everything, a deep and profound peace permeated the entire room. I basked in that essence, that presence, this silence, the ego-less state. It was pure bliss. It was ecstatic. This is everything Ramana Maharshi speaks of. He truly was a saint, a Buddha of our time.

Ramana Maharashi - the Self

I picked up a mirror I had brought and looked at my face. Looking into it, I felt a sense of separation from the body. Once again, Ayahuasca teaching me that I'm not the body, but the eternal being, pure awareness. Seeing myself in the mirror, it felt like another person. A person aging with wrinkles, getting old. A body prone to disease, death, and decay. It was clear to me, to truly wake up and discover our true nature, is the ultimate and highest goal that every being should pursue. To escape the cycle of Samsara. To break the illusion of Maya. To transcend the physical realm and be in touch with our true selves once again. To abide as the ONE eternal spirit. If not this lifetime, then the next.

P.S. I had one hell of a deep purge. Glad that parts over.

Ayahuasca Journey 7: Abiding in Silence and an Encounter with Her

🕒 5 MINUTE READ

Saturday October 14th, 2017 8PM
I'll keep this entry relatively short, broken down by highlights of the 1st and 2nd dose experiences.

Participants: Jarvis (the shaman), May (the assistant), Nancy (Hispanic in her 20s), Jack (Caucasian in his 20s), and Erika (Black in her late 30s).

1st Dose
Being that this was my 7th ceremony, by now I've had quite a bit of experience with Ayahuasca under my belt. So I knew what to expect and have begun to see a pattern with my trips. After taking my first dose, I went ahead and meditated in full lotus posture. I've gotten pretty familiar with the close-eyed visual world by now so it was not chaotic at all. As it kicked in, I pretty much got past the initial onset with ease, the first wave. Then came the second wave. This trip was not visually intensive opened or closed eye. But instead, I got a powerful feeling charging through my body. The feeling of the Ayahuasca life force surging through my veins with a heightened sense of awareness and feeling of expansive super consciousness. This was a feeling I've gotten to familiarize with over the course of my previous trips. Only this time, I skipped past the first wave relatively quickly and got into this state pretty fast. The state of feeling expansive and existing as spirit.

So I went outside to chill where Jarvis and May were having a discussion. For the next hour or two, I pretty much basked in this state of a silent mind and was hyper aware. Pure awareness. My eyes and being felt highly radiant. Over time, it slowly wore off and I began to feel normal again. Then I joined in on the conversation with Jarvis and May. So nothing too crazy to report here just a immense feeling of beingness. The purge this time was awful, the next one would be worse.

2nd Dose
After some time passed, Jarvis suggested I take another dose. I had all the time to kill so I said sure why not. Jarvis gave me a BIG dose. As I was sitting outside, the 2nd dose began to kick in. My body temperature dropped and I began to feel very cold. Starting to feel chilly and delirious, I retreated inside without uttering a word to Jarvis or May. The dose may have been too strong and I was not feeling well at all. I was very nauseous and cold. Inside, I sat in front of the center piece plant and tried to hold myself together, completely disoriented and feeling uncomfortable.

Suddenly, out of no where, open eyed, I saw a flash of what looked like data streaming in mid air. Some going up and down in a vertical fashion and left to right horizontally. Bright yellow and white divine colored data strips crisscrossing and strobbing before me as it panned from left to right. A yellow matrix. And guess what, underneath it all was a female entity behind sorting and organizing the data. Like some kind of information highway. She made herself known to me, but not fully known. It was as if she was implying to me, I see you, you're not supposed to be here, but I'm aware you're accessing our realm. She phased in and out, and in and out behind the streams of white-yellowish data. Although she had two eyes, she definitely didn't seem human. I  assume a higher intelligence of some sort, or perhaps I'm just tripping balls. Could be Mother Aya behind the veil, who knows? Or I have one hell of an imagination. As quick as she appeared, she vanished.

Still tripping, I went back to my mattress and huddled up freezing. My body temperature had dropped a bit. Finally, the nauseous and cold was too much to bear and I mustered up the focus to get up and go outside to grab my sleeping bag. I regretted not bringing it in thinking I wasn't going to floor it this time. So I stepped outside, went to the edge of the parking lot, and purged even harder than the first dose. Man this time it was rough, almost got it on myself. This purge lasted much longer, maybe 3 to 5 minutes and was the worst purge of all my trips. Once that was done, I went back to my mat with my sleeping bag and snuggled up in fetus position until I sobered up. Very little closed eye visuals. Once I was normal again, I went to Jarvis and May to report what I saw. This was by far more interesting than my first dose. Whoever or whatever she was, definitely was not of this world. I would say this is my first encounter with an unknown entity. With my 2nd journey, the open eyed visuals seemed more like "visions". This one seemed more like contact with another being.

https://www.meetup.com/AyahuascaDTLA/events/244047258/

Ayahuasca Journey 3: The Observer and Observed are One

🕒 7 MINUTE READ 

Friday August 18th, 2017
Having just died on journey one and getting a glimpse of the divine light. Then came journey two, where I experienced a flash of GOD. I had to come back for this third journey to validate what I went through was legit. I wanted to confirm that my experience was not a mistake and that I could consistently reproduce it with Ayahuasca. So that I could be certain of what I had felt. This would be the journey where I'd discover, becoming one with the cosmos. The Shiva Being.

Participants: Jarvis (the shaman), John (the assistant), May, Shiv (Indian in his early 30s), Carlos (Hispanic in his late 30s), and Flor (Hispanic woman in her late 30s).

First Dose
I don't really recollect the initial onset of this first dose. I do recall that this was the first time I got into half lotus meditative posture while waiting for Ayahuasca to kick in. At some point, it kicked in, I went ahead and laid down on my stomach. From what I vaguely recall, the initial visuals were similar to journey one and two. One very interesting feeling I recall in this trip was the experience of what I call mini "time-gaps". These time-gaps were a very a strange feeling and phenomenon. Each time one of these gaps occurred, I would feel life and time would pause for two to three seconds. I'd hear a strange squiggly noise in the center of my brain and feel a strange sensation at the bottom of my spine. Every time I heard the squiggly noise, time would stop, then resume. It was weird as fuck, and it happened a couple of times. Forgetting how long I was in this state, at some point I got up to purge in the restroom.

Being in the restroom, it felt very strange, very fake. Like some strange gimmick out of place in the middle of the universe. Anyway, I puked my guts out into to the toilet and remembered looking into the bowl, feeling a strange presence of GOD. But this was not it. This was more subtle and not as pronounced as my flash in journey two. I then proceeded with purging out the other end. Sitting there on the toilet with the lights on seeing sparkles in space and the floor moving, I started to notice the light got brighter and brighter. As I sat there taking a shit, dumping my innards out, suddenly that bright light started swelling up within me and began to expand. It was the divine light again, and this time it was expanding alongside with my awareness. I was completely dumbfounded and awestruck as this light energy surged and exploded in my mind completely overtaking my ego and becoming pure awareness. I had found GOD again with my pants down taking a shit! Confident that this was indeed the experience of the divine again, I was in sheer bliss and awe. Sitting there, suddenly I recalled to be mindful of others who need to use the restroom. I had lost track of how long I was in there.

As I walked out, I noticed something was very different about my being. Something I've never felt before. My body felt extremely light and also quite big. I was a larger expansive version of my self, with the dead weight of my body completely being lifted. I looked at my hands, they were like massive holographic hands, way longer than usual. The very perception of my being has been scaled up.

Everything felt like an illusion. So this is what the Buddhist call Samsara, or the Hindus call Maya. That our reality is in fact an illusion. As I walked, I felt like an immense being, some sort of walking spirit. I wasn't quite sure what to make of it, but it felt good and confident, as if this was the real me, standing tall and proud. Our true nature, to abide as the essence of spirit.

In this state I decided to sit down in front of the centerpiece of the studio to meditate. I sat in full lotus with relative ease, there was no pain or discomfort as there normally is when sober. As I sat there and meditated, I started to achieve single pointed concentration. At the peak of my meditation, there was perfect stillness and I became "the witness". I was the witness, watching my body and all happenings occur within me. It was like I was frozen time, yet I could still see people walking around my body. I had become the observer, watching myself in 3rd person. This was definitely some state of Samadhi. As I shifted my attention back to that which was being observed, at that moment, the observer and observed became one. Oneness, the non-dual state. There were no thoughts or feelings, just pure perception and pure awareness. Everything was complete.

As I sat there, another interesting phenomenon began to occur. Since I was abiding as the observer, I watched my body get up, grab my keys, go to my car, get a jacket, put it on, and stand outside the parking lot. I realized, what I had just perceived was that fact that I am no longer the actor. That free will is really an illusion. When you are in the state of the observer, all happenings and phenomenon continue to occur without your conscious initiative to take action. This was truly a profound realization. After this understanding, I slowly began to regain conscious control of my body. However, reflecting back on this, it almost seemed as if Ayahuasca took control of my body and that it was moving on its own. However, that was not the case. Ayahuasca simply allowed me to identify as the observer and it showed me, that a higher power continues to animate our very beings. This is true surrender. This is the natural unfolding of cause and effect, our karmas. If we are not who we take our selves to be as a body, then abiding as the observer, there lies the imperishable timeless being, that which is never born and can never die. This is where true peace lies, in the eye of the storm.

From my various Ayahuasca trips, there seems to be various stages of consciousness that can be described. From lowest to highest:

1. Unconsciousness, deep or dreamless sleep
2. Unawareness, not self aware, like some lower animal forms
3. Self aware, but in the deluded state, mistaken to be the ego, thoughts, feelings, and the body
4. Awake or aware, deep understanding that you are not the ego nor the body, but instead always mindful and abiding in the present, the current moment
5. Observer or the witness, identification with pure awareness, that which perceives the body, thought, and all waking phenomenon. A clear demarcation from all happenings. That you, abiding as the witness is not affected, cannot be touched
6. Being state, oneness with the universe, to become the totality, the observed and observer become one, there's no longer a separation of the observer (the subject) and the observed (the object). Non duality. That demarcation is merged. Yoga, union with the divine
7. And finally the non being state, emptiness, unmanifest, turiya, nirvana, pure consciousness, the source

This was a deep and profound trip. More of my third journey experience could also be found in Journey 9. There were a lot of similarities between the two.

https://www.meetup.com/AyahuascaDTLA/events/242525631/