Friday August 25th, 2017 8PM
As usual, I got to the ceremony at around 8 and proceeded with my first dose. There were four key experiences to highlight this journey, all very unique in its own way.
Participants: Jarvis (the shaman), May (the assistant), Adelita (older Hispanic lady), and Adelita's Father
1st Dose
I got into half lotus seated position and began meditating. I noticed that by meditating into the initial wave, I had more control of my mind and the inner world visuals would be less chaotic. It helped with the initial nausea as well. As the first dose kicked in, the usual onset of colors, lines, and fractals commenced. The "cool dudes" in my previous trip came to visit me again. They don't stop appearing until I had an incident with one of them with my fifth journey, the next trip. There were two new characters that showed up in my closed eye visuals this time. The first one was the silhouette and outline of an old shamanistic native looking grandma. She was calm and peaceful. The second one by far more interesting, was a little girl with a monster head. She had the body of a little girl in a cute pink dress but had the face of a demon. Her demeanor was bratty, aggressive, and wanted attention. I have encountered this entity in my lucid dreams before but I'm not sure what's her purpose. Go ahead and google images of "little girl with demon face" or use your imagination. But I'll tell you, she definitely is not pleasant to look at. Regardless, she's been rather harmless despite her appearance. She would be a reoccurring character in my sixth and eight journey. As usual, I abide as the witness and observe them without judgement.
I had a strange interaction with the "cool dudes" this time. In my closed eye visuals, they encouraged me to die. They would tell me to die, and I would go through the process and come back alive. Then I would see them giggling, laughing, hands over their mouths, and mocking my death. Almost implying to me "See, we told you so, you die and you'll come back." That death is not final, but almost some sort of cosmic joke. My death experiences during this trip were far more gentler and serene than what I felt during my first trip where it was more violent and fear based. I guess I'm learning how to let go and die more peacefully.
Given that I was more in control this trip and was not delirious or confused, when it was time to take the 2nd dose, I went ahead without hesitation.
2nd Dose
After taking my 2nd dose, I decided to go meditate in the center of the room in front of the burning candles and fake plant centerpiece. There I sat in full lotus and as mentioned above, I went through another gentle death process that the "cool dudes" guided me through. As I sat there after reestablishing myself from the simulated death process, I felt a sudden surge of energy building up in my core, my solar plexus. It was building and building and my breath automatically got deeper and deeper. Very meditative. I started breathing heavily, as if my breath was a taking on a life of its own. It was very autonomous. Then at some point, Mother Aya completely took control almost as if she possessed my body. I got up with my hands spread and feeling super expansive. The energy that I felt earlier in my core began to rise from my gut and out of my mouth. All of a sudden, a huge "OM" burst forth out of my mouth with my head tilted back and my arms raised high in the air. I felt like a huge expansive tree with my branches extending and reaching out into the cosmos while vibrations were emanating from the core of my being and out of my mouth. At the pinnacle of my roar, my consciousness was gone for that split second and then I was back. As I exhaled the last remnants of the vibrations, I felt negative energy leaving my breath. After that, the first thing I said was "What the fuck was that?!" and started laughing my ass off. May, who happened to be lying on the side with her head towards the center, heard me and also began laughing with me. Both of us knew, something crazy just happened. It was such an unbelievable feeling of release and was such a remarkable event.
I was in my spirit mode, my cosmic state, the feeling of Ayahuasca power. It was a tad disorienting, as if the immensity of that consciousness couldn't be contained in my body. Anyway, both of us were feeling quite awesome now. We both decided to go outside to sit in the parking lot to hang out and chat. While sitting there next to each other on the floor, I had another vision flash before me. It was May and I, both monkeys on a savanna under a tree fending off hyenas. Instinctively, I suppose to scare off the hyenas, I just started bellowing out in the parking lot and she started making monkey noises too. It was hilarious and we were having the time of our lives. Perhaps we knew each other once as monkeys in our past lives, maybe some sort of soul mate? This would be my first past life flash back I've ever experienced.
As we chatted outside, I would get random surges of Ayahuasca energy overtaking me. I'd drop in silence midway during conversations and feeling such life force flowing through my body. It was a very intense cosmic expansive feeling that made my whole being flex with power and energy. A feeling that you and the universe are one, cosmic consciousness. A heightened level of awareness. As we were coming down, we got on top of the roof of her jeep, laid there and chatted. May was kind enough to give me a massage while I was still feeling the effects of Ayahuasca. During the massage, I saw a closed eye vision of a huge pristine white ivory divine palace. Not sure where it was from, but it sure was beautiful and majestic.
As we sobered up, Jarvis came outside and we discussed my feeling of cosmic consciousness. Then the idea was thrown out to take a third dose. This would be May and my first time taking three doses.
3rd Dose
Both of us took a smaller dose for our third. The dose was small enough where it did not overwhelm us like it did the first two. While on Ayahuasca, May went to the center of the studio to perform yoga asanas. She mentioned Ayahuasca made her more flexible and she felt more grounded performing yoga with Ayahuasca in her system. As I laid there in the center watching her, here and there I'd have peak minor braingasms. These are tiny surges of energy I feel on the forehead of my brain where I'd see white light and the chakra colors. Each time, this happened, I'd exhale some sort of energy (prana) that felt negative leaving my being.
Now to my next experience, a very peculiar one. As I laid there flat on my stomach still watching her perform yoga postures, I went ahead and grabbed a bottle of water in my hands. Looking at this bottle of water in my hands, I began to feel immense gratitude and thankfulness that the universe has combined various elements to put this object together. This little plastic container holding a small amount of water to quench my thirst. And then it happened. While staring at the bottle of water, suddenly everything went pitch black. I was gone, I disappeared as in deep sleep. The bottle, my surroundings, sound, all my senses, gone. Vanished. I don't know how many seconds passed by but then I reappeared with everything still there with my eyes open as I were before it went black. Then I immediately realized, it was a certain state of samadhi, a state of non-being. Perhaps the 7th jhana or 8th jhana. Very very cool experience. A glimpse of non-duality.
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| samadhi: 7th through 9th jhana |
However, despite having these experiences on Ayahuasca, I'm learning that these states do not last. Ayahuasca is like meditation on steroids. It gives you a glimpse of what meditative masters have achieved without the hours of practice they've gone through. Although, it is easier for the masters to achieve such states as a result of their practice without relying on anything but their own being. So traditionally, they don't recommend anything external on the path.
At the very end of this journey, I sat in pure bliss, no thoughts for almost three hours. I just sat there until the sun came up. During this time, a block away from our lot, I saw a flash of sparkles glittering across the top of a tree. It was magical.
Thank you Divine Mother Ayahuasca.
https://www.meetup.com/AyahuascaDTLA/events/242701370/
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