Friday September 1st, 2017
Really not to much to report here. This was by far my worst journey. No feelings of cosmic consciousness. For some reason, the energy was low that day and the medicine was weak. Even though, I took four doses. This was my first time bringing a friend. Most of my other friends and family are scared of the ego death, purging, and just loss of control. I guess it's just not their time yet. When Mother Aya calls for you, she calls.
Quoting from a comment I found online:
"Thank you so much for this amazing article. I honor you in every way possible. You worked hard and dedicate yourself for an amazing journey. When we improve ourselves we help the world and when we help others we help ourselves. What an exemple to the world and to us women to empower ourselves and take our power back by learn with mother aya. I have been called many times, but my fear is bigger than my curiosity. I love to grow and learn. I have tried many things but because of the shadow and entities I have heard of i just can make the commitment to meet her. Would love to hear from you on that so I can take courage to experience the duality and illusion of life. Blessings to you sister. Remember the world would not be the same without you. Namaste" -Adriane
"Adriane, thank you with my whole heart. That is so kind of you to say. And you know, fear is a best friend to us sometimes. It keeps us away from things our soul is not ready for. When you feel the calling and it's just a wee bit louder than the dial of your fear, you know it's Time. And that's perfect. Every time I drank, I did so with horrifying fear, in varying degrees. But that didn't stop the seeking. And I did indeed learn to love that fear to pieces. But you trust your instincts and you always know best. If you would ever like to go deeper into this, I would be honored. I'm always here if that voice gets louder :)"Participants: Jarvis (the shaman), May (assistant), Homeless man from New York in his 50s, British woman in her late 30s, and my friend Lim (Cambodian in his mid 30s).
1st Dose
Took my first dose and got into half lotus meditation. As the visuals kicked in, what was different this time was that I was meditating in a eyes half opened state. With my eyes slightly open, I was able to see the outer world with calm serenity. However, with my inner world, there was more chaos. Regardless, I sat there in meditative observance. I kept seeing hands reaching into my brain, lots of hands. And at one point, one of the "cool dudes" (the nickname I give my psychedelic visual friends from my first trip) got pissed off and kept pounding my head. He was in a fit of rage. Personally, I have not gotten angry in a very long time. Earlier that week though, I did have an encounter with someone on the road who honked at me for making a rolling stop while turning right. Although I wasn't exactly pissed off, annoyingly, I had rolled down the window and expressed my frustration as to why he was honking, considering that I did not turn into his lane. We got into a little spat over whether or not there was a stop sign, which I later found there was. So I was wrong. Can't trust the mind.
Anyway, back to my visual, as I looked at this angry bearded man with shades who kept pounding on my head with anger, I decided to send him love and he dissipated into rose petals in my mind. Since this occurred, I haven't really been seeing the "cool dudes" anymore in my subsequent trips. It makes me wonder if they are some expression of my psyche or subconscious.
Not too long after that, most of my visuals subsided and I wasn't really feeling the Ayahuasca. There was no 2nd wave either. So I went ahead and reached out to Jarvis to take my 2nd dose slightly earlier than usual.
2nd & 3rd Dose
After taking my 2nd and 3rd dose, the effects were still weak. The energy was just not there that night. No magical universe imposed over the studio. Everything was just dull and quite ordinary. I didn't have any visuals nor did I have any death experiences. I just felt really nauseous. Granted that the night was still young, I went ahead and took my fourth dose.
4th Dose
Finally, after the fourth dose, some affects started kicking in. I went outside to chill and laid on a mat outside on the concrete. The floor of the concrete was definitely alive and moving in waves. Aside from that, that was the extent of my visuals.
Maybe I shouldn't even have written this entry. It was a bit of a waste of read. I will tell you though, couple weeks later, I encountered the same scenario I mentioned above. I got honked at for a rolling stop turning into my right lane, however not into the other driver's lane. I proceeded to roll down the window to ask him what he was honking at and he mentioned my fault. This time without annoyance or frustration, I just acknowledged what he said and said "Got it, sorry." Guess I'm learning how to channel my inner zen.
Don't let the behavior of other's destroy your inner peace. -Daila Lama
https://www.meetup.com/AyahuascaDTLA/events/242878020/
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